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Angelus's Journal


Angelus's Journal

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19 entries this month
 

... to each their own.

00:43 Jul 31 2011
Times Read: 745


... to each their own.



I was taught... there is a path... for each of us who seek knowledge. What you do with that, is up to you.



Dark, or Light? Your choice.



Is there a Satan? No.



Is there a God. No.



We made them in the image we chose, for they are part of the Whole, as are we...


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to see 'the dark' in ourselves...

00:07 Jul 31 2011
Times Read: 746


... as a manic depressive, I've worked hard at finding that equitable balance, whilst at the same time, listening to too much negative stuff, I had allowed myself [[note the phrasing]] to become someone I know longer liked.



over time, I became me again... and, it occured to me, that one of the reasons people seek alternatives to a sense of self was, that perhaps, they too had allowed themselves to become less than they could be...


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Taste Of Heaven??

00:28 Jul 29 2011
Times Read: 754




... a wet day; a white hearth rug; a warming fire, the remainder of a bottle of red and a bowl of strawberries, served with full cream...



... and, good company.

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‘for shame Mister Osburne!’

23:54 Jul 28 2011
Times Read: 756


So, Britain’s CDP is zero point two per cent and, one of the reasons he cites is Japans Tsunami; whilst Japans GDP is five point two and, they had a Tsunami.



Could the vast difference between the two be that one country still has an industry, whilst the other does not? Either way, ‘for shame Mister Osburne!’


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Army ~ an open letter.

16:48 Jul 28 2011
Times Read: 765


I say hello ... and get blocked.



"Well Army, I have never hated you, not even when you acquired what you did. I never hated you. To think I have, or did is your perception: and, if thats your belief, you have my utmost sympathies."


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relationships and attraction/destruction

16:44 Jul 28 2011
Times Read: 766


what often attracts someone ends up repelling them: and then, that person sets out to change that attribute.



as an aside, both the last ex and I were/are depressives... although, very different types.... and whereas she did the whole, "I need the tablets to find balance.." I am an emotionable manic depressive, so they're of no use to me at all. 'Tween the two of us, you had different teavhings and experience, all very messy, leading to the inevitable, [[for me]] conclusion.. she had cheated, as did the one before her.


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Private enterprise eh?

11:56 Jul 26 2011
Times Read: 778


On Monday, I felt the need to contact the dole in lieu of my email to Keith Jones in respect of my appointment next week at 15:00 on the 28th July 2011



As my Father has an issue over phone use during the daytime I had send my enquiry by this email.



I had recalled what had been said to me by Mister Jones, "Do remember that this programme is mandatory..." And, as I said then, 'I do.' But, the dole say the same and, they pay my benefit: That is why I now start walking to sign-on earlier than I used to, as I can no longer walk as fast as I did, thanks to my spinal injury. Now, I sign on at 14:30 and what with their caseload, jobsearch and signing-on and, my appointment with Mister Jones being at 15:00 I do not think in retrospect that I will be able to make the latter appointment, even if I do use public transport.



For that reason, I thought it might be helpful, to all parties, if my next appointment were re-arranged, as I have no physiotherapy next week, as I am awaiting news of a back specialist, I could meet any 'new' appointment arranged, for me. The problem had been the appointment system that Ingeus use, which is an email system, that seemingly can’t take requests for rearrangement, hence the visit to the dole. Needless to say, they had a ‘special’ phone-number to use and I got what I wanted, news of a probable new appointment.



At the same time I learnt that my jobcentre advisor shouldn’t have made a fresh appointment to see me, as once I was allocated to Ingeus the dole have no responsibility for me any longer, bar the signing-on bit.



Effectively I am still unemployed, though as I’m with Ingeus, I’m not classed as such, which is convenient for today’s unemployment figures. That immediately reminded me of Thatcher moving people from unemployment to invalidity in ‘80’s.



Just before I left the office I said, “I felt it interesting that the faces I saw there were the same faces, the same old faces...” “Maybe that’s because they’re all the same faces you see on training courses?”



Yet that’s the point. There had been no difficult clients; no alcohol users; no heroin users; in effect, it looked like the programme seems to be picking its clients: and, I’m not unemployed anymore, although I am.



All this from a company, note the word, that makes money from my unemployment, that my research shows that the company got its contract by donating money to the conservative party.



It all seems wrong to me, particularly when one takes into account that money has been taken from the job service and, made many of their staff unemployed and paying out large amounts of redundancy.



Meanwhile, I’m not classed as unemployed, although I sign-on every two weeks and I don’t have a job, while ‘the dole’ no longer has responsibility for me.



And, as I see thus far, because of my age and experience Ingeus cannot offer me anything new; anything that courses haven’t ‘offered’ before ~ and, certainly NOT a job. And meanwhile, jobcentre staff lose their jobs and money is withdrawn from yet another public service. Private enterprise eh?


COMMENTS

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moonkissed
moonkissed
12:59 Jul 26 2011

Just the same; I wish there was a similar program here. At least it sounds productive.

Hmmm, decisions decisions; millions of people collecting assistance while at the same time the majority do not bother to try to look for work. Some of those on financial aid through social security because they are "unemployable"; perhaps what they lack is training in a position which allows less movements or would permit them to work from home.

They have attempted a "welfare to work" in some places and they were little better then sweat shop work but I think better managed and better contracted it could work beautifully.

Except for one thing; people would call it Socialism(as if that were a bad thing).





Angelus
Angelus
13:42 Jul 27 2011

if I'd ever got anything positive from these schemes... things that I couldn't do for myself, or with a little assistance, I'd have no objections to these schems.



But... I haven't.



In the late seventies and early 80's I went through this.. and, it's always the same faces, never the one's who really need help.



As an aside, it's wrong to pull money from a service that works, to gove it to a private concern, who make money, from my unemployment...



that's akin to prostitution; though, it's debatable which I am, 'the girl', or the punter.





 

R.I.P. Amy Winehouse 27

01:51 Jul 24 2011
Times Read: 788


Found, under ‘suspicious circumstances:’ a genuine talent, who will be sorely missed.


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DestroyingAngel
DestroyingAngel
08:28 Jul 26 2011

It really is a damn shame. :(





 

R.I.P. Lucien Freud 88

01:12 Jul 24 2011
Times Read: 793


“I paint what I see, not what you want me to see…”



Quote: Lucien Freud


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yep... adequate.

01:03 Jul 21 2011
Times Read: 800


torchwood

haven

warehouse 13

eureka



**sighs**



adequate distraction.


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...“would I do it again?”

01:41 Jul 15 2011
Times Read: 821


It took me about four years to get used to the idea that I had arthritis. As of this week I’ve got to get used to the idea of having degenerative disease [[of the spine]] and, the latter is because I had got someone out of a locked cubicle toilet safely for him; someone who was twice my weight and had been having a grand mal seizure, for over seven minutes, using two dead lifts. I could say, I saved a life twenty odd years ago and, this back is the result. The question I now ask myself is, “would I do it again, if needed?” And, the answer is ‘probably.’


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moonkissed
moonkissed
01:54 Jul 15 2011

I would expect nothing less.





XLostAngelX
XLostAngelX
07:31 Jul 15 2011

:o





 

I am … whole!?!

18:01 Jul 13 2011
Times Read: 827


I float… peacefully… in the womb of the … Earth Mother … feeling … nurtured … in the green.

I seem to recall … another time … such as this … when I hovered … newly formed within … a woman’s body. But the woman was flesh … and blood … and tissue … throbbing and hot … not the peaceful cool nurturing … of the Earth Mother.

And I was taken … from the womb … to a world of … flesh … a world I left … in a burning symphony of pain.

I was hurled from that world … and want no part of it … for it wants … no part of … me.

There is pain there … and hurt … and memories … that give me … sadness … not like here … in the green.

Above me … is the peace of … the swamp … I am one … with it … with the swamp … I have no need for … earthly concerns. Why should I … when my concern … is the Earth … itself?

Let the flesh … go on about … its small concerns. I have no need … of the flesh. I have the dirt … and the grass … and the leaves. I need … nothing else.

I am … whole.



Quote: The Swamp Thing


COMMENTS

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So you smile, then...

00:47 Jul 13 2011
Times Read: 829


So you smile to someone, say hello, get to know them, or think you do: then she say, tell me of your past and, I’ll tell you of mine. Now, however one answers this one, it’s dead-meat time. F’r example, the first fiancée assumed I’d ‘known’ a woman for every year of my life. An, that was ‘coz I was evasive, as I had been a tad of a slut and, she had been a good girl, I’d thought. So, the next time a fiancée asked me that question, I’d answered honestly and yes, all was smiles at first; and I had a gleaming of her life, before me. But, whereas her past had never been brought up again, mine had been, on a continual basis. And, thinking on it, what’s with this, age doesn’t matter bit? They say it and, maybe they mean it… until the day they start going out with their younger friends, ‘as you don’t like that sort of place’. And, come to that, why do they get together with you, knowing who you are, then within a short while, try to change those things about you, that attracted them to you, in the first place?

What I’m saying is, why do ‘these people’ expect more from you than they do themselves? For them, it seems their reticence towards what they expect from you is duplicitous. And, speaking of such things, why on earth do people expect honesty from those they meet on the web, when they’re not honest themselves. People tell half-truths and lies on Facebook and the like, then wonder why they attract the people they do; or they hide behind multiple character, while still expecting different from those they make connections with. Why? Heck, if they have multiple persona, it might be suggested that they don’t like the one they actually have, which doesn’t bode well for any involvement another might have with them… Such is the nature of ‘people’ now, I despair at times, and of ever finding someone I might trust, again.


COMMENTS

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Evil lot...

23:56 Jul 11 2011
Times Read: 833


So today Cameron tells us that he intends to push through with his privatization of public services.



… the buses, the trains, gas and electric by other countries... privatization really work well, doesn't it!?! this fellow won't be satisfied till all the good done in the last sixty years is unwravelled, for the benefit of a few, most sitting on the front benches... Evil lot.


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Oscar Said...

16:32 Jul 10 2011
Times Read: 842


If poetry has passed by, Philosophy will take note of him.



The Gospel according to Walt Whitman



With regard to modern journalists, they always apologise to one in private for what they have written against one in public.



The Soul of Man Under Socialism



As for the mob, I have no desire to be a popular novelist. It is far too easy.



Defence of Dorian Grey



The English public like tediousness, and like things to be explained to them in a tedious way.



Defence of Dorian Grey



It is proper that limitations should be placed on action. It is not proper that limitations be placed on art. To art belongs all things that are and things that are not, and even the editor of a London newspaper has no right to restrain the freedom of art in the selection of subject matter.



Defence of Dorian Grey



In France, they limit the journalist and allow the artist almost perfect freedom. Here we allow absolute freedom to the journalist and entirely limit the artist.



The Soul of Man Under Socialism



As for the other, the scribblers and nibblers of literature, if they indeed revere Rossetti’s memory, let him pay the one homage he would most have valued, the gracious homage of silence.



A Cheap Edition of a Great Man





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slightly commercialized?

23:25 Jul 08 2011
Times Read: 868


04/07] ****: It has become slightly commercialized, but I think that has more to do with making things that were already being manufactured widely available.

[05/07] Angelus: Face it.. the americans got em all.. including budhism.. sheesh.

[05/07] **************: Nothing wrong with budhism. For many it is more of a philosophy than a religion.

[06/07] Angelus: it's what I follow. tho I call also call myself a humanist

[08/07] **************: I can't call myself a humanist because I've given up on the unwashed masses at large.

[00:22] Angelus : I gave up on giving up.


COMMENTS

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moonkissed
moonkissed
01:34 Jul 09 2011

Oh I see





 

It turns out...

16:57 Jul 08 2011
Times Read: 975


It turns out Pagan is … not very nice. I now believe... [[the ‘nice Lady’ from Scotland I’d thought was real…]]



I had asked someone to find out why Pagan had blocked me: ‘she said it was on purpose because you kept sending messages , if you stopped she would unblock you.’



So I’d written ‘then tell her I'll stop by all means.. just goes to show who people are.. I thought, she was someone I'd talk with. but I question something she wrote.. so guess being an admin here is what tit's about... for her. yes, please do so.’



[[Although later, I'll be removing her from my friends list... she's gone the way of so many admin here.]]



These people, who forget who they were… sadden me.



I piss her off it seems; yet I'm still on her friends list:. [[not mine.]]


COMMENTS

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Angelus
Angelus
18:26 Jul 08 2011

"Truth is not relative... it is an absolute."



Quote: Neil Kendrick





DestroyingAngel
DestroyingAngel
20:57 Jul 08 2011

Wow, that's just lame.



Admin is a nothing but a popularity contest here on VR. A very pathetic one too. I'd like to see an admin that actually does something MORE than just brown nose eachother. There's been only two here that are down to earth and whom I actually like or have on my friends list. Only two.






moonkissed
moonkissed
01:42 Jul 09 2011

It happens.





 

My name is ... what!?!

00:55 Jul 05 2011
Times Read: 982


So, I was watching ‘My Name Is Earl’ and, watching the credits when I noticed that Danny Lux had composed the music; likin this is The Danny Lux of … The Cramps.


COMMENTS

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dabbler
dabbler
01:14 Jul 05 2011

I like My Name is Earl





 

now it's finished...

00:04 Jul 05 2011
Times Read: 985


now it's finished. 'let there be dragons..' he said and, there were.


COMMENTS

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